You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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