I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Farmville is her only friend.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
