I feel great
I just peed on a car
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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