Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
