I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
this beer tastes like vomit already
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
