Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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