Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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