Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
lets start a swedish sibling band together
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
