I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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