I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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