Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
