i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
