I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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