In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
