Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
You just made me feel so damn special
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
