I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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