Only a mothe r could love this liver
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
