He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
