miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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