we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
