seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I could fuck to npr.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize