i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Sorry my hands just texted you
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize