2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Randomize
