If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he shaved USA in his pubs
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Randomize
