you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
