the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
