Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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