brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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