worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
