Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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