tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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