we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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