the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
