I just made out with a guy for $7.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Don't EVER smell your tampon
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize