It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
