all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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