This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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