This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
