I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize