just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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