If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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