god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
