i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
