C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize