well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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