I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
