I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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