New invention idea: vibrating tampons
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
