he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
