just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I think people are normalizing furries
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize