There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
