I smell stomach acid.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
