i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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