Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
