i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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