You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
