I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
