dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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