I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
