So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize