Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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