i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
should my penis look like a turkey
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
