Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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