Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
