She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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