fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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