I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
