Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
